"Name, Address and License Plate"

Being stuck in the office and store doing the same jobs day in and day out 7 days per week can become monotonous.  In fact, the routine becomes so ingrained on you that you sometimes forget what day of the week it is, because one day is exactly like the next.  Unless something so out of the ordinary happens like it did one beautiful summer day…

Because we are a campground, all cars must be registered.  We also require adults to sign a walking waiver that states they are walking at their own risk and will not hold us responsible if they trip or fall.  We were signing in wolf watchers as we do every day, indicating where on the page we need their name, address and license plate number.  The words become a mindless repetition, almost a mantra as we point and repeat “name, address, license plate and signatures of anyone 18 years and older”. 

 A large percentage of the general public do not memorize their license plate numbers and thus have to go out to the parking lot to check.  When I pointed to the book and repeated for the umpteenth time that day “name, address, license plate and signature”, it did not surprise me when the man set the pencil back down and said, “I’ll be right back”.   He returned about five minutes later and tried to hand me the metal rectangle he had just removed from the back of his car. When he saw the expression on my face followed by the burst of laughter, I could almost see the cartoon light bulb over his head when he realized his error.

  “Uh, you didn’t mean you needed the actual plate did you”, he asked with a sheepish smile.

  No, but you have just made my day” I said laughing, as I copied the number into the requisite space.  The rest of the day sailed by with intermittent giggles from staff members. 

 Are there any of us who can say we haven’t had those moments that did not give the impression of having the intelligence we’d like others to credit us with?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could freeze frame and rewind time to take back something we said or did before anyone would notice?  Personally, I’ve had more of those dim witted moments than I’d care to admit to.  In fact, there are enough expressions out there to suggest it’s not all that uncommon to have had those moments when our own boat may have been in the water without the oars.

 Not the sharpest knife in the drawer…, not the brightest bulb in the pack…, dumber than a stump…, playing with an incomplete deck…a few fries short of a happy meal…not the brightest crayon in the box…a few planks short of a bridge…all foam and no beer…a few screws short of a hardware store…elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor…,couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel…too much yardage between the goal posts…half a bubble off plumb…no lifeguard in the gene pool… an so on. 

How do we recoup some dignity after saying or doing something to spawn a new colloquialism?  Humor.  We have to be able to be the first to laugh at ourselves. Sadly, many people today have lost their sense of humor.  We are wrapped so tight in our own egos that we are unable to accept even constructive criticism.  Mockery and name calling was just as prevalent when I was young as it is today.  What makes it different than what goes on presently is the manner in which the mocking was handled.  There was not a physical or legal retaliation.  There were two simple phrases that raised the protective shield up around us “sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me” as well as “I’m rubber you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you”.  It’s cheaper than lawyers, and less hazardous than physical attacks.  Sounds stupid or foolish?  Most certainly, but isn’t that what all of us have most in common?  Didn’t Shakespeare sum it up with “all the world’s a stage and the people in it merely players. I'm thinking life is a comedy, and we're a long way from winning the "Oscar".